From Judgment to Curiosity and Fascination

You’re in a board meeting. Someone proposes a strategy that contradicts everything you know works. Your chest tightens. Your mind races to three reasons why it won’t work —before they’ve even finished explaining it.

You’re watching game films. A player makes a call you’d never make. Your jaw clenches.

You’re already writing the critique.

You’re hearing about a competitor’s move. It seems reckless, poorly timed. Your shoulders tense as you catalog their mistakes.

That physical response? That’s your signal. You’ve left center. Judgment has taken over.

There’s a scene in Ted Lasso where the coach recalls seeing the words Be curious, not judgmental, credited to Walt Whitman. Historians can’t confirm Whitman ever said it — yet the truth of the phrase doesn’t depend on who said it first.

Those four words can change how you lead, compete, and live — especially when the stakes are highest.

The Instant Reaction: How High Performers Slip Into Judgment

Judgment. We all do it.

We judge people, situations, strategies, and outcomes.

We decide a decision was wrong before we know the full story.

We dismiss an approach because it’s not how we would do it.

We label something a failure without asking what it made possible.

It happens fast. Often before we even realize it.

And for high performers, the cost is steep. Every time judgment takes over, you miss information that could change everything. You reinforce old patterns instead of discovering new possibilities. You operate from reaction instead of response.

Fear, the Primitive Brain, and High Performer Mindset Coaching

Judgment comes from fear.

Fear lives in the primitive brain — the part wired to keep us alive. Its job has never

changed: scan for threats, avoid danger, stick with what’s familiar.

When something — or someone — doesn’t fit the pattern, that part of your brain flags it as risky. Risky can mean unsafe. And unsafe triggers judgment.

Not the kind of fear that sends you running from a fire. The subtle kind. The kind that whispers:

• That choice could make us look bad.

• That play could cost us the game.

• That approach might undermine everything I’ve built.

It’s fear dressed up as certainty. And certainty feels safer than admitting you might not have the full picture.

Here’s what certainty actually protects: your image, your control, your sense that you’ve got it all figured out.

It’s expensive protection. It costs you information, relationships, and opportunities you can’t even see yet.

The Stories We Write: When Elite Athletes and Leaders Lose Curiosity

Judgment doesn’t stop at the first opinion. It hands you a pen and tells you to start writing.

You fill in the blanks about why someone acted the way they did. You decide what must have been said in the meeting you weren’t in. You imagine motives, conversations, even entire backstories — and you believe them as if they were fact.

We don’t write short stories. We write novels. Without any real data.

And once you’ve written that story, your brain starts looking for proof you’re right. Which means you’re no longer curious, no longer open — you’re just defending something you made up.

These aren’t harmless mental exercises. They’re the stories that keep you awake at night.

The ones that make you second-guess your instincts when you need them most. The ones that pull you further from center when you need to stay sharp.

The Shift: How High Performers Return to Center  

Curiosity and fascination interrupt judgment. 

When you choose curiosity and fascination, you move from fear to discovery. From the primitive brain to the human brain. From reactive to responsive. You find your center again.  

The move is simple, though not easy. You ask questions:  

• I’m curious what’s fascinating about this choice. 

• I’m curious what they saw that I didn’t. 

• I’m curious what this approach accomplished for them in the past. 

• I’m curious what this need might be meeting right now. 

You don’t have to agree. You don’t have to adopt their approach. You just have to stay open long enough to see more than your first take. 

In Business: Mental Performance for Leaders  

A competitor launches a product you’re sure will fail. Your first instinct is to write the  story: They rushed it. Poor design. Bad market timing. 

Curiosity says: I’m curious what they know that I don’t. What did they see in the data? What’s  their bet? 

Fascination says: If it works, what could I learn from their approach? 

That shift doesn’t mean you copy them. It means you keep gathering intelligence instead of defending your first opinion. 

In Sports: Athletic Confidence and Decision-Making  

A quarterback throws deep on third-and-short. Fans groan. Commentators judge.  

Curiosity says: I’m curious what he saw in the defense. 

Fascination says: What makes him trust that throw in this moment? 

Judgment freezes the play in one frame. Curiosity lets you see the entire field.

In Leadership: Executive Coaching for Confidence  

A team member makes a choice you don’t understand — a different approach to a client, an unexpected strategic move, a decision that seems to contradict everything you’ve taught them.  

Judgment says: They’re not following the system. 

Curiosity says: I’m curious what they’re responding to that I might have missed. Fascination says: How might this decision reveal something about the situation I need to understand? 

That shift keeps you leading instead of just reacting. 

Why Curiosity and Fascination Are Essential in High Performer Mindset Coaching  

Judgment pulls you off center. Curiosity and fascination bring you back.  

When you lead with judgment, you get the same data you’ve always had. You reinforce  your own view. You miss what’s new, unexpected, or better. You operate from reaction  rather than response.  

When you lead with curiosity and fascination, you gather different information. You see  options others miss. You respond with more precision. You stay centered when others get  pulled into the noise. You become harder to shake, harder to outthink.  

Being centered isn’t just about feeling better — though you will. It’s about performing  better. Making better decisions. Seeing opportunities sooner. Staying sharp when the pressure rises.

The Challenge  

For the next week, pay attention to your signals — the tight chest, clenched jaw, tensed  shoulders. That’s your indicator you’ve left center.  

When you feel it, pause. Start with one question that begins, “I’m curious…”.  • I’m curious what they saw that I didn’t. 

• I’m curious what this choice makes possible.

Then watch what happens. Notice what you learn, how you respond, and what opens up  that you would have missed in judgment. 

What’s Next?  

If this resonates with you — if you recognize yourself in those physical signals or find  yourself writing stories without data — you’re not alone.  

Every high performer I work with has wrestled with judgment taking over at critical  moments. The ones who break through learn to catch it early and shift back to curiosity  before it costs them.  

This is just one tool in what becomes a complete system for staying centered under  pressure, making decisions from clarity instead of fear, and performing at your highest  level when it matters most.  

Ready to explore what that looks like for you? Schedule a confidential conversation and  we’ll identify what’s pulling you off center — and create a clear path forward.  

Because you’ve achieved everything up to this point. Now it’s time for what’s next. 

Echelon: For those who’ve achieved everything—except what’s next.™ Echelon Life Coaching™